I've spent countless nighttime hours during this deployment thinking of how crappy this Army Wife thing is. "I don't have him here", "I miss him", "I'm worried about him", "I'm tired of being a 'single' mom" (FYI, I hate that phrase..I simply mean tired of doing it alone right now), blah.blah.blah. I could go on for hours.
But the simple truth? Yes, I miss him and yes, I'm worried about him. And yes, I get tired of being the only source of discipline, only chef, only maid...but it has taught me one thing. Selflessness. How can I be selfish? My husband is defending our freedom along with so many others! A role model, that's what he has become. Like so many before him and so many after him...he's setting a perfect example for our son. Pride, respect, patriotism, and discipline.
I spend hours cleaning the kitchen after meals, taking the garbage out, cleaning the bathroom, picking up toys, cleaning dog poo out of the yard (my 1st least favorite chore), and taking out garbage (2nd...), making sure diapers are changed, rules are being followed, and that Noah has a educational means of entertainment in front of him at all times. My husband, on the other hand, is spending countless hours awake fighting the war on terrorism. Man, does he have one on me!
Don't get me wrong, this lifestyle isn't for the weak-hearted. I've had to learn this over this 1st deployment. It's full of worry, heartache, frustration, anxiety, and more. Being an Army Wife has its challenges. But I fully welcome the challenge. On deployment day, while I'm worried how I will manage being here on post "alone" with Noah (while family is but 4 hours away), my husband is worrying about going to a foreign country with no one but "the one on his left and the one on his right". Again...he's got one on me!
There's not much recognition for what we, as Army Wives, do on a daily basis. But for me...when my husband walks into our house and his tired eyes light up at the sight of me and our son, or when he walks into the gym after a year long tour overseas, or when I'm picking him up from the airport and a complete strange walks up to him and thanks him for his service...that's all the recognition I need.
I love being an Army Wife and will always support my husband and our troops!