To Put it All Into Perspective...

I read a blog post today...from a nurse. It was very touching and it put a lot of things into perspective for me. She wrote,

"I was talking with one of my patients today and found out a bit of his life story. 

He was a pilot in the Army Air Corps during WWII. He was married (married his wife in 1942 shortly before he deployed). He was shot down in Germany and spent 2 years in a work camp.

And you know what? He talks about how lucky he was.

It just puts it into perspective when we sit here and complain because we haven't talked to our husbands today. He spent 2 years in a German work camp as a POW. 2 years that his wife didn't hear from him or even know if he was alive. And he calls that lucky."

Again I go with a saying that a very wise person told me "If you threw all of your problems into a pile with everyone else's problems...you'd grab yours back in a hurry". 

Be thankful for what you have and who you have! I know I am...

What NOT To Say...

I received this email and thought I'd share. SO STINKIN' TRUE. Think about it next time you talk to someone who's spouse is deployed to a combat zone...

1. “Aren’t you afraid that he’ll be killed?”
(This one ranks in at number one on the “duh” list. Of course we’re afraid. We’re terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds —but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they’re scared of dying.)

2. “I don’t know how you manage. I don’t think I could do it.”
(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here’s why: it’s not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we’d get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We’re not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)

3. “At least he’s not in Iraq.”
(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan. What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An international game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there.)

4. “Do you think he’ll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?”
(Don’t you watch the news? No! They don’t get to come home for any of these things. Please don’t ask again.)

5. “What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he’s gone?”
(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there’s a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don’t get bored, and drinking massive amounts of wine always helps keep me busy.)

6. “How much longer does he have until he can get out?”
(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren’t counting down the days until they “can” get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq b/c there is work that needs to be done.)

7. “This deployment shouldn’t be so bad, now that you’re used to it.”
(Sure, we do learn coping skills and its true the more deployments you’ve gone through, the easier dealing with it becomes. And we figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets “easy” and the bullets and bombs don’t skip over our guys just because they’ve been there before. The worry never goes away.)

8. “My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you’re going through.”
(This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband’s three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 12-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a shitty ford taurus with mercedes convertible.)

9. “Wow you must miss him?”
(This one also gets antoher big “duh”. Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they’re now divorced.)

10. “Where is he exactly? Where is that?”
(I don’t expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a map, but they should know by now that it’s in Iraq. Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they’re on the news every night and in the papers every day —and on maps everywhere.)

11. “Well, he signed up for it, so it’s his own fault whatever happens over there.
(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn’t sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that “You’re welcome.” He’s still fighting for your freedom.)

12. “Don’t you miss sex! I couldn’t do it!”
(hmmm, no i don’t miss sex. i’m a robot. seriously…military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn’t withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)

13. “Well in my opinion…..”
(Stop right there. Yo, I didn’t ask for you your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Jamba Juice, not at Nordstrom, not in a restaurant when I’m out with my girls trying to forget the war, and CERTAINLY NOT AT WORK. We tell co-workers about deployments so when we have to spend lunch hours running our asses off doing errands and taking care of the house, dog, and kids, they have an understanding. We do not tell co-workers and colleagues because we are giving an invitation to ramble about politics or because we so eagerly want to hear how much they hate the President, esp. while we’re trying to heat up our lean cuisines in the crappy office microwaves.)

last but not least….

14. “OH, that’s horrible…I’m so sorry!”
(He’s doing his job and he’s tough. Don’t be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our soldiers fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)

If you want to say anything, say thank you. After all, we are sexually deprived for your freedom.

A Student Again!

Well, school starts in ONE week and FOUR days! I'm ridiculously excited that I'm going to be a student again. When Adam joined the Army it was agreed upon that I'd go back to school to finish my Criminal Justice degree and to enroll into the nursing program once there was a spot available (I'm already 40 credits toward my CJ degree, so I may as well finish that degree while I am waiting to get into nursing). God has a plan for everything. I'm convinced that the timing was perfect (obviously...it's God's plan and timing is always perfect). With DH deploying on such short notice, school will help make the next 365 days go by very fast (or at least I'm praying...). 

To be honest...I know I want my Criminal Justice degree so I have something to fall back on in case I cannot get into the nursing program right away. But my real ambition is to get my nursing degree and to work in Labor and Delivery. How awesome it will be to help bring tiny precious babies into the world. I'd also like to work in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) as a nurse. It's going to take a while to get into the nursing program here at JCC (Jefferson Community College). Fall of 2012 is the estimated semester that I'll be able to get in. So, while I'm waiting a year to do that...maybe I can get a job with my Criminal Justice degree.

While I find Criminal Justice very VERY interesting, the reason I won't be taking Criminal Justice any further (other than to get a job in a court house or something along those lines) is because I'm not willing to leave my young son for long enough to attend the police academy. I give so many kudos to my husband for being able to go training for 5 months just so that he can provide for his family. We Love You, Adam! Also, once he's out of the Army, he'll be going to a police academy which will require him to be gone for about 3 months. He's so strong...I'm so SO proud of him! He can go to his training and "do his duty" in the sandbox because he knows that his baby is in safe/protective/caring/loving arms. 

I will always be a loving, caring, supportive wife and mother. I LOVE my family!

Have Faith...

Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

I do not claim rights to this photograph. 

Rule #1...

I was beyond excited when we got stationed here at Fort Drum, NY. Close to family and friends, perfect climate for me...but most of all, I was THRILLED with the unit Adam got put into. They just returned from deployment so that meant no deployment for a little while and we met some awesome people. 

Soon, I found out "Rule #1". Never rely on the Army...

Adam was "voluntold" that he'd be joining a new unit and they are headed for Afghanistan. He found out on my birthday, July 26th. He'll be leaving very, very soon for his 1st tour overseas and my first "tour at home". 

So many emotions I have right now. So many wishes I have. But not one regret. I'm proud of my husband and what he's doing. He's going to do his duty and then he's going to come home to us...and that's that. Am I nervous? Am I scared? Do I wish he didn't have to go? yes, Yes, and YES! But I don't hold it against him. He's fighting to make me and our son safer in this country.

I love you, Adam. You're going to do wonderful. You're not even gone yet and I can't wait for you to come back home.