I cannot think of a better piece of writing to share with you all. It really is a sisterhood. And I'm proud to be a part of it.
I Am A Military Wife
Author Unknown
I am a military wife - a member of that sisterhood of women who have had the courage to watch their men go into battle, and the strength to survive until their return. Our sorority knows no rank, for we earn our membership with a marriage license, traveling over miles, or over nations to begin a new life with our military husbands. Within days, we turn a barren, echoing building into a home, and though our quarters are inevitably white-walled and unpapered, we decorate with the treasures of our travels, for we shop the markets of the globe.
Using hammer and nail, we tack our pictures to the wall, and our roots to the floor as firmly as if we had lived there for a lifetime. We hold a family together by the bootstraps, and raise the best of 'brats', instilling in them the motto: "Home is togetherness", whether motel, or guest house, apartment or duplex. As military wives we soon realize that the only good in "Good-bye" is the "Hello again". For as salesmen for freedom, our husbands are often on the road, at sea, or in the sky, leaving us behind for a week, a month, an assignment.
During separations we guard the home front, existing until the homecoming. Unlike our civilian counterparts, we measure time, not by years, but by tours - married at Petawawa, a baby born at Gagetown, a special anniversary at Uplands, a promotion in St Jean. We plant trees, and never see them grow tall, work on projects completed long after our departure, and enhance our community for the betterment of those who come after us.
We leave a part of ourselves at every stop. Through experience, we have learned to pack a suitcase, a car or hold baggage, and live indefinitely from the contents within: and though our fingers are sore from the patches we have sewn, and the silver we have shined, our hands are always ready to help those around us. Women of peace, we pray for a world in harmony, for the flag that leads our men into battle, will also blanket them in death.
Yet we are an optimistic group, thinking of the good, and forgetting the bad, cherishing yesterday, while anticipating tomorrow. Never rich by monetary standards, our hearts are overflowing with a wealth of experiences common only to those united by the special tradition of military life. We pass on this legacy to every military bride, welcoming her with outstretched arms, with love and friendship, from one sister to another, sharing in the bounty of our unique, fulfilling military way of life.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Is it...
...over yet?! I'm tired of deployment. Tired of wondering when I'll hear his voice again.
I miss him.
I miss him.
Monday, May 16, 2011
You're So Strong!
I hear a lot, from various people, "You're such a strong person." I couldn't do it." "I wouldn't be able to be away from my husband that long." And then...on TV this evening, I hear, "Family is so important to us...I could never leave my children." My gosh...where do I start??
I guess I'll start with people telling me how strong I am. Thank you. Truly, from the heart, thank you. I appreciate the complement. But actually, I'm just a wife and a mom who agreed to follow my husband into his Army career. That's it. I knew I'd have to be a "single" mom for periods of time. It's not easy but any loving, caring, wife and mother would do it given the situation. Now, onto, "I wouldn't be able to be away from my husband that long." Well...let me tell ya. I didn't grow up thinking, "You know, I can't wait to grow up to be an Army wife and send my husband off to war for a year at a time." Just wasn't a thought in my head, KWIM?? Enough said about that, I suppose.
Now, onto the statement that really got me going on this topic. The show I was watching was "Quints by Surprise". The husband said, "Family is so important to us...I could never leave my children." The first thought that comes to mind is, "Well then thank GOD there are people like my husband who decide to do it...so YOU don't get drafted. But when I step back from that nasty thought of mine, I would say that I certainly hope everyone loves their children. Yes, my husband laces up his combat boots not because he WANTS to leave his family but because he wants his family to be safe in this great nation. He wants to experience so that he can start a career in law enforcement once he's out of the Army. NEVER has he thought, "Oh man, I cannot WAIT TO DEPLOY because I don't love my family."
I'm tired. That's my rant of the evening. I am ready for bed tonight. After hearing that statement, I needed to write down how I felt. Sometimes I wish people would think before they speak. Most of the time though, they say these things not because they're trying to be hurtful but because they don't understand this life style. It's a whole lot different from civilian life, that's for sure.
As always, please keep praying for my husband and all the troops overseas tonight fighting for our freedom...so we don't have to.
Goodnight!
I guess I'll start with people telling me how strong I am. Thank you. Truly, from the heart, thank you. I appreciate the complement. But actually, I'm just a wife and a mom who agreed to follow my husband into his Army career. That's it. I knew I'd have to be a "single" mom for periods of time. It's not easy but any loving, caring, wife and mother would do it given the situation. Now, onto, "I wouldn't be able to be away from my husband that long." Well...let me tell ya. I didn't grow up thinking, "You know, I can't wait to grow up to be an Army wife and send my husband off to war for a year at a time." Just wasn't a thought in my head, KWIM?? Enough said about that, I suppose.
Now, onto the statement that really got me going on this topic. The show I was watching was "Quints by Surprise". The husband said, "Family is so important to us...I could never leave my children." The first thought that comes to mind is, "Well then thank GOD there are people like my husband who decide to do it...so YOU don't get drafted. But when I step back from that nasty thought of mine, I would say that I certainly hope everyone loves their children. Yes, my husband laces up his combat boots not because he WANTS to leave his family but because he wants his family to be safe in this great nation. He wants to experience so that he can start a career in law enforcement once he's out of the Army. NEVER has he thought, "Oh man, I cannot WAIT TO DEPLOY because I don't love my family."
I'm tired. That's my rant of the evening. I am ready for bed tonight. After hearing that statement, I needed to write down how I felt. Sometimes I wish people would think before they speak. Most of the time though, they say these things not because they're trying to be hurtful but because they don't understand this life style. It's a whole lot different from civilian life, that's for sure.
As always, please keep praying for my husband and all the troops overseas tonight fighting for our freedom...so we don't have to.
Goodnight!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
It's That Kind of Night...
...you know when you've been longing to hear from him and you miss the call the second you're away from your phone for 2 minutes. I mean, really? I eat, pee, shower, workout, go to dinner, hang out of with friends, clean, paint my toenails...WITH THE CELL PHONE! I've done this for the 6 months my husband was in OSUT and now for the last 8 months of this deployment. And the one time I get "lazy" with making sure my phone is attached at my hip, he calls...and I miss it. How annoying.
I'm sure all my fellow military wives know exactly what kind of feeling this is. For those that know this feeling, I don't need to elaborate. For those that don't know this feeling...imagine this: the love of your life is in a war zone. He gets to call very minimally and you know that he's probably looking forward to that time when he can call even more than you are. It kind of feels like a punch in the gut...a pit in your stomach kind of feeling.
But, at least he called...and even if I didn't get to hear his voice, I know he's safe.
...I miss him. A lot.
That's all for tonight.
Lord, please keep my husband and all the other troops safe. Bring them home safe and soon. "The ones left behind" really miss them. Amen.
I'm sure all my fellow military wives know exactly what kind of feeling this is. For those that know this feeling, I don't need to elaborate. For those that don't know this feeling...imagine this: the love of your life is in a war zone. He gets to call very minimally and you know that he's probably looking forward to that time when he can call even more than you are. It kind of feels like a punch in the gut...a pit in your stomach kind of feeling.
But, at least he called...and even if I didn't get to hear his voice, I know he's safe.
...I miss him. A lot.
That's all for tonight.
Lord, please keep my husband and all the other troops safe. Bring them home safe and soon. "The ones left behind" really miss them. Amen.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Where's MY recognition?
I've spent countless nighttime hours during this deployment thinking of how crappy this Army Wife thing is. "I don't have him here", "I miss him", "I'm worried about him", "I'm tired of being a 'single' mom" (FYI, I hate that phrase..I simply mean tired of doing it alone right now), blah.blah.blah. I could go on for hours.
But the simple truth? Yes, I miss him and yes, I'm worried about him. And yes, I get tired of being the only source of discipline, only chef, only maid...but it has taught me one thing. Selflessness. How can I be selfish? My husband is defending our freedom along with so many others! A role model, that's what he has become. Like so many before him and so many after him...he's setting a perfect example for our son. Pride, respect, patriotism, and discipline.
I spend hours cleaning the kitchen after meals, taking the garbage out, cleaning the bathroom, picking up toys, cleaning dog poo out of the yard (my 1st least favorite chore), and taking out garbage (2nd...), making sure diapers are changed, rules are being followed, and that Noah has a educational means of entertainment in front of him at all times. My husband, on the other hand, is spending countless hours awake fighting the war on terrorism. Man, does he have one on me!
Don't get me wrong, this lifestyle isn't for the weak-hearted. I've had to learn this over this 1st deployment. It's full of worry, heartache, frustration, anxiety, and more. Being an Army Wife has its challenges. But I fully welcome the challenge. On deployment day, while I'm worried how I will manage being here on post "alone" with Noah (while family is but 4 hours away), my husband is worrying about going to a foreign country with no one but "the one on his left and the one on his right". Again...he's got one on me!
There's not much recognition for what we, as Army Wives, do on a daily basis. But for me...when my husband walks into our house and his tired eyes light up at the sight of me and our son, or when he walks into the gym after a year long tour overseas, or when I'm picking him up from the airport and a complete strange walks up to him and thanks him for his service...that's all the recognition I need.
I love being an Army Wife and will always support my husband and our troops!
But the simple truth? Yes, I miss him and yes, I'm worried about him. And yes, I get tired of being the only source of discipline, only chef, only maid...but it has taught me one thing. Selflessness. How can I be selfish? My husband is defending our freedom along with so many others! A role model, that's what he has become. Like so many before him and so many after him...he's setting a perfect example for our son. Pride, respect, patriotism, and discipline.
I spend hours cleaning the kitchen after meals, taking the garbage out, cleaning the bathroom, picking up toys, cleaning dog poo out of the yard (my 1st least favorite chore), and taking out garbage (2nd...), making sure diapers are changed, rules are being followed, and that Noah has a educational means of entertainment in front of him at all times. My husband, on the other hand, is spending countless hours awake fighting the war on terrorism. Man, does he have one on me!
Don't get me wrong, this lifestyle isn't for the weak-hearted. I've had to learn this over this 1st deployment. It's full of worry, heartache, frustration, anxiety, and more. Being an Army Wife has its challenges. But I fully welcome the challenge. On deployment day, while I'm worried how I will manage being here on post "alone" with Noah (while family is but 4 hours away), my husband is worrying about going to a foreign country with no one but "the one on his left and the one on his right". Again...he's got one on me!
There's not much recognition for what we, as Army Wives, do on a daily basis. But for me...when my husband walks into our house and his tired eyes light up at the sight of me and our son, or when he walks into the gym after a year long tour overseas, or when I'm picking him up from the airport and a complete strange walks up to him and thanks him for his service...that's all the recognition I need.
I love being an Army Wife and will always support my husband and our troops!
Saturday, April 16, 2011
She's a Military Wife
A woman for all seasons
A woman for today
She grows to meet the challenges
And grows along the way
Her life is not an easy one
With many loads to bear
But she proudly serves her husband
And the uniform he wears
Although she didn't take the oath
To preserve democracy
She's there each day on the home front
To keep our country free
She's foreign-born or a country girl
Diversity you will find
But to be an army wife
It takes a special kind
She's one who keeps on going
Through adversity and pain
She's the steady, strong foundation
When nothing stays the same
She the one who sheds a tear
As Old Glory passes by
But couldn't give an answer
If you were to ask her why
Throughout the years, she marches on
Through tears and joy and strife
She's America's unsung hero -
She's A Military Wife!!
Author Unknown
A woman for today
She grows to meet the challenges
And grows along the way
Her life is not an easy one
With many loads to bear
But she proudly serves her husband
And the uniform he wears
Although she didn't take the oath
To preserve democracy
She's there each day on the home front
To keep our country free
She's foreign-born or a country girl
Diversity you will find
But to be an army wife
It takes a special kind
She's one who keeps on going
Through adversity and pain
She's the steady, strong foundation
When nothing stays the same
She the one who sheds a tear
As Old Glory passes by
But couldn't give an answer
If you were to ask her why
Throughout the years, she marches on
Through tears and joy and strife
She's America's unsung hero -
She's A Military Wife!!
Author Unknown
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Oh my! I forgot to tell you...
Well, it's been a while since I've updated...again. Sorry =) Things have been a little hectic around here. I mean, I should be use to that. Welcome to Army life, right? School's going full-force and Noah's growing at the speed of light. New things for him every day, which includes new things for mommy to correct...every day. however, I love my job. He's an amazing child.
Today is day number 219. It seemed never ending...(and tonight, it still seems never ending) BUUUUUUT!! R&R happened a lot sooner for us then I planned. But DH (darling husband) had it all planned out! March 9 was a great night!
Here's the story:
The night prior, three great friends came to help me organize my big closet. That was so sweet of them! But after we were done organizing that closet, they kept asking if there was anything else they could help with. They kept insisting (which again, was super nice of them, I love my friends). But I couldn't understand why. Well, little did I know, my amazing husband had it set up that he would surprise me on his R&R.
I was sitting on my bed with my laptop at about 630pm and Noah was watching his movie. All the sudden, I turned around and Adam was standing in the bedroom doorway. My face went pale and I just stared at him as if I saw a ghost. Then I jumped up, crying and kissed him (after I said..."WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"). It was absolutely the best surprise of my life. Noah was shocked and surprised. He looked at DH and said, "Dadda?" It was wonderful! Little did I know, he told all of my friends and family...everyone knew!
Thank you, husband for an amazing surprise and I cannot WAIT until homecoming!
Today is day number 219. It seemed never ending...(and tonight, it still seems never ending) BUUUUUUT!! R&R happened a lot sooner for us then I planned. But DH (darling husband) had it all planned out! March 9 was a great night!
Here's the story:
The night prior, three great friends came to help me organize my big closet. That was so sweet of them! But after we were done organizing that closet, they kept asking if there was anything else they could help with. They kept insisting (which again, was super nice of them, I love my friends). But I couldn't understand why. Well, little did I know, my amazing husband had it set up that he would surprise me on his R&R.
I was sitting on my bed with my laptop at about 630pm and Noah was watching his movie. All the sudden, I turned around and Adam was standing in the bedroom doorway. My face went pale and I just stared at him as if I saw a ghost. Then I jumped up, crying and kissed him (after I said..."WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"). It was absolutely the best surprise of my life. Noah was shocked and surprised. He looked at DH and said, "Dadda?" It was wonderful! Little did I know, he told all of my friends and family...everyone knew!
Thank you, husband for an amazing surprise and I cannot WAIT until homecoming!
Dear Lord, please keep him and all of his brothers/sisters that are beside him safe <3 Amen.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
It's been a while... (day 165)
It's sure been a while since my last blog update. Mainly because school is completely bogging me down, in addition to having an amazing 2 year old to care for. I'm so thankful for Noah. He's amazing. He keeps me on my toes. He fills my days and nights....making it *a little* easier to deal with this deployment.
Speaking of deployment...it's never-ending. However, today something struck me right in the face when I realized how soon R&R is (sorry, OPSEC, I can't post dates ;)! But it's soon...I can't wait. Just to see him, in itself, is going to be an amazing feeling. But not only will I get to see his face, but I'll get to touch his face, hug him, kiss him...it's just going to be an amazing feeling. Many say to me, "Wait until R&R is over...it's going to be twice as hard to let him go"...well, I'm not worrying about that until the day it's time to send him back (I was going to write more on that topic...but part of not worry about it until he's back is NOT worrying about it before he even comes home!)
Well, that's all for tonight. Just a short update...more to come, though! Everday...I made that promise to myself at the beginning of this deployment and I slacked (a lot). But reading my thoughts and feelings on those 1st few days...it really made me realize how strong I've been...and how fast time as gone!
Lord, please keep my husband and his unit out of harms way. Cover them with your loving arms and bring them back to us safely. Amen.
Much love and many prayers <3
Amanda
Speaking of deployment...it's never-ending. However, today something struck me right in the face when I realized how soon R&R is (sorry, OPSEC, I can't post dates ;)! But it's soon...I can't wait. Just to see him, in itself, is going to be an amazing feeling. But not only will I get to see his face, but I'll get to touch his face, hug him, kiss him...it's just going to be an amazing feeling. Many say to me, "Wait until R&R is over...it's going to be twice as hard to let him go"...well, I'm not worrying about that until the day it's time to send him back (I was going to write more on that topic...but part of not worry about it until he's back is NOT worrying about it before he even comes home!)
Well, that's all for tonight. Just a short update...more to come, though! Everday...I made that promise to myself at the beginning of this deployment and I slacked (a lot). But reading my thoughts and feelings on those 1st few days...it really made me realize how strong I've been...and how fast time as gone!
Lord, please keep my husband and his unit out of harms way. Cover them with your loving arms and bring them back to us safely. Amen.
Much love and many prayers <3
Amanda
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Army Wife Creed...
I am the wife of an American Soldier.
I am a supporter of the United States Army -
an encouragement for the protectors of the greatest nation on earth.
Because I am proud of my husband and the uniform that he wears,
I will always act in ways creditable to him, the military service
and the nation he is sworn to guard.
I am proud of my husband. I will do all that I can to protect
and provide for my family in his absence. I will be loyal to my
husband and to the vows that we made as we entered the
covenant of marriage.
I will do my full part to carry on the values
and goals we have set apart for our family
and I will continue to instruct our children in the same manner.
As a soldier's wife, I realize that I play a vital role
in my husband's decision to become a member of a time-honored profession -
that I am doing my share to keep alive the principles of freedom
for which my country stands.
No matter what situation I am in, I will never do anything,
for pleasure, profit, or personal safety,
which will disgrace my husband, his uniform or our country.
I will use every means I have to encourage my husband to be
the best soldier that he can be.
I am proud of my husband, my country and its flag.
I will fly the flag and will always remember the sacrifices
made by my husband and by generations of men and women
that have served our beloved country.
I will try to make my husband proud of the
manner in which I accept his decision to defend my freedom and
the freedom of all American citizens -
for I am the wife of an American soldier.
I am a supporter of the United States Army -
an encouragement for the protectors of the greatest nation on earth.
Because I am proud of my husband and the uniform that he wears,
I will always act in ways creditable to him, the military service
and the nation he is sworn to guard.
I am proud of my husband. I will do all that I can to protect
and provide for my family in his absence. I will be loyal to my
husband and to the vows that we made as we entered the
covenant of marriage.
I will do my full part to carry on the values
and goals we have set apart for our family
and I will continue to instruct our children in the same manner.
As a soldier's wife, I realize that I play a vital role
in my husband's decision to become a member of a time-honored profession -
that I am doing my share to keep alive the principles of freedom
for which my country stands.
No matter what situation I am in, I will never do anything,
for pleasure, profit, or personal safety,
which will disgrace my husband, his uniform or our country.
I will use every means I have to encourage my husband to be
the best soldier that he can be.
I am proud of my husband, my country and its flag.
I will fly the flag and will always remember the sacrifices
made by my husband and by generations of men and women
that have served our beloved country.
I will try to make my husband proud of the
manner in which I accept his decision to defend my freedom and
the freedom of all American citizens -
for I am the wife of an American soldier.
I love you, Adam H. Bleech. I'm so proud of you...I hope you're proud of me, too. Our little boy loves you so much!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
HP, get a grip!
So, today my words of advice are for HP. I'm not paying you for "advice" on how I MIGHT be able to fix my HP product. A Soldier serving a tour of duty in Iraq DEFINITELY shouldn't have to pay you...get a grip!
Soldier requests help to fix his HP Printer while Serving in Iraq...
Soldiers Have Crappy Printer - Watch more Funny Videos
Soldier requests help to fix his HP Printer while Serving in Iraq...
Soldiers Have Crappy Printer - Watch more Funny Videos
Monday, October 18, 2010
Day 39
Progress? I'd say so...
New Female Lieutenants Commissioned into Afghan Army
New Female Lieutenants Commissioned into Afghan Army
http://www.afghan-web.com/military/afghanfemale_lieutenants.html
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Day 35
Today...today was a good day. It's day number 36, which only means it's 1 day closer until I'm in his arms again (the one place I feel safe, comforted, unconditionally loved...). I shopped with my beautiful mother, and I had plans to have dinner with an amazing friend, Shawna. We decided it sit and visit --- so much better than dinner! She's such a wonderful person!
I read a blog earlier and it really got me thinking about being a mother. So, tonight's blog isn't really about the Army...it's about motherhood.
I became a mother the day I conceived my beautiful baby boy - March of 2008. I never thought my life would change so much. I never thought such a tiny little life could bring my husband & I so much happiness, so much fulfillment. I pray that I'm doing everything right. I want my son to grow up to be a respectful, successful, independent adult who loves God and his family. What can a mother do to ensure her children will grow and prosper? They can love them...simply love them. Provide them a stable, structure-filled home (not just a house...but a loving home), and make sure they know how much they are loved. We've all made mistakes in our lives, I know this first hand. I pray that I can lead my son in a direction that he doesn't need to learn mistakes the hard way. Maybe he can learn from my mistakes...and not have to make his own. But we know that everyone makes mistakes in life. We all have to learn from our mistakes. And sometimes, that's the best way to learn life's lessons.
I hope I'm showing my son the right path in life...that I'm loving him as he needs to be loved! I love that little boy unconditionally. He's absolutely amazing :)
On another topic (you guessed it, the Army topic) --- here's a picture I saw on the internet tonight. Think about it...my husband's life is on the line to protect our rights. If for nothing else, stand for our vets/troops who have put their lives on the line for us to have this right...
I read a blog earlier and it really got me thinking about being a mother. So, tonight's blog isn't really about the Army...it's about motherhood.
I became a mother the day I conceived my beautiful baby boy - March of 2008. I never thought my life would change so much. I never thought such a tiny little life could bring my husband & I so much happiness, so much fulfillment. I pray that I'm doing everything right. I want my son to grow up to be a respectful, successful, independent adult who loves God and his family. What can a mother do to ensure her children will grow and prosper? They can love them...simply love them. Provide them a stable, structure-filled home (not just a house...but a loving home), and make sure they know how much they are loved. We've all made mistakes in our lives, I know this first hand. I pray that I can lead my son in a direction that he doesn't need to learn mistakes the hard way. Maybe he can learn from my mistakes...and not have to make his own. But we know that everyone makes mistakes in life. We all have to learn from our mistakes. And sometimes, that's the best way to learn life's lessons.
I hope I'm showing my son the right path in life...that I'm loving him as he needs to be loved! I love that little boy unconditionally. He's absolutely amazing :)
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Day 34
I haven't updated in quite some time. Wow, where to start (fair warning, this will be a long post!). We're on day 34 and it's been a very interesting 34 days. I've found new friends (who are amazing) and I've found those of the "old" friends that actually care/understand/attempt to understand/support me/and are just amazing friends...there's a few that I can't say that much about...but whatever. Life goes on. I've found how important it is to have a group of people who are a major support system during this stressful time --- they totally understand what I'm going through and I'm able to support them, as well. I've found out how amazingly strong I am as a woman, mother, and wife. There's nothing like having some amazing responsibilities put in your path by God and having to complete all of those tasks "alone". I'm a full-time student, I'm a full-time mother (currently his sole caretaker), and a wife who's trying to make sure her Soldier is as comfortable and connected to his family as possible. Most of all, I've realized how much I love God and my family. My husband is an amazingly strong and courageous man - he's also the most amazing man I have ever met in my life. Constantly, day and night, I'm worried about my husband being in a war zone - however, I know by God's grace, he's going to be fine. I pray for him day and night, my friends and family pray for him day and night, and people I have never met and probably will never meet pray for him day and night.
I pray every night that this "nightmare" will end earlier than it's suppose to and my Soldier will come home safe and sound, long before he's suppose to. But I know the odds of that are very slim (if not completely not an odd at all, ha ha!) Although, with my wish of him to come home safe and early ... I must say, I'm so proud of the Soldier that he's become. He's doing exactly what he's dreamed of doing for a long time now, I'm so proud that he took that chance and did it! A lot of times, when a person has a strong career goal, they lose sight of what's important. Not my husband. He constantly tells me how proud he is to have such a supportive wife and that his family will always come first in his eyes, but that he's proud to have a family that understands the Army doesn't see it that way. Not a minute goes by, when he's able to call home, that he doesn't ask about how his son and wife are doing before he even dives into the things he wants to tell me about being over in the sand box (the things that he's able to tell me, that is).
So far, Noah's taken the separation very well. I can see little outbursts that normally didn't happen and I think that's how a one year old (almost two year old) will deal with a situation like this. Too young to understand why Daddy is gone, but old enough to realize that Daddy is gone. There are times when Noah will ask me to hold him and he'll ask me where Daddy is. I tell him "Baby boy, Daddy's working...but he will come back soon." After I tell him that, he seems fine. We have a bedtime ritual down now where he'll pick a picture of Daddy from the drawer in his bedroom (I have about 100 pictures in there for Noah) and we'll both kiss Daddy good night and Noah will have Daddy right there in bed with him all night...so precious. I absolutely love it.
Anyway, that's all for now --- every day is a challenge but we're settling into a routine and we're counting down the days until R&R. You see, you never stop missing them...when your soul mate is gone for an extended period of time, you miss them until they're home. When your soul mate is gone for an extended period of time to a warzone..., you miss them and worry about them until they're home. But if there's one thing I'm absolutely sure of, it's that God has my husband under His wing...he's going to be fine. I love you, Adam!!
I pray every night that this "nightmare" will end earlier than it's suppose to and my Soldier will come home safe and sound, long before he's suppose to. But I know the odds of that are very slim (if not completely not an odd at all, ha ha!) Although, with my wish of him to come home safe and early ... I must say, I'm so proud of the Soldier that he's become. He's doing exactly what he's dreamed of doing for a long time now, I'm so proud that he took that chance and did it! A lot of times, when a person has a strong career goal, they lose sight of what's important. Not my husband. He constantly tells me how proud he is to have such a supportive wife and that his family will always come first in his eyes, but that he's proud to have a family that understands the Army doesn't see it that way. Not a minute goes by, when he's able to call home, that he doesn't ask about how his son and wife are doing before he even dives into the things he wants to tell me about being over in the sand box (the things that he's able to tell me, that is).
So far, Noah's taken the separation very well. I can see little outbursts that normally didn't happen and I think that's how a one year old (almost two year old) will deal with a situation like this. Too young to understand why Daddy is gone, but old enough to realize that Daddy is gone. There are times when Noah will ask me to hold him and he'll ask me where Daddy is. I tell him "Baby boy, Daddy's working...but he will come back soon." After I tell him that, he seems fine. We have a bedtime ritual down now where he'll pick a picture of Daddy from the drawer in his bedroom (I have about 100 pictures in there for Noah) and we'll both kiss Daddy good night and Noah will have Daddy right there in bed with him all night...so precious. I absolutely love it.
Anyway, that's all for now --- every day is a challenge but we're settling into a routine and we're counting down the days until R&R. You see, you never stop missing them...when your soul mate is gone for an extended period of time, you miss them until they're home. When your soul mate is gone for an extended period of time to a warzone..., you miss them and worry about them until they're home. But if there's one thing I'm absolutely sure of, it's that God has my husband under His wing...he's going to be fine. I love you, Adam!!
"... But you know happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light..."
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Day 5
I failed to post for the 4th day...that's ok though =) I was exhausted.
Well, what's new today? I still didn't hear from my Soldier...but I'm sure he's doing well. I'm sure they're training hard and getting ready for whatever is to come.
Today, my amazing little boy decided to color all over the walls. So, I did what my grandmother did to me. I got him a sponge and made him clean it off. LOL...he's not even two yet so I thought for sure he'd get bored of it before it was cleaned. Nope...he cleaned the wall spotless. Good boy, Noah ;) Don't color on the walls again! =)
As far as me...the days don't bother me, too much. It's the nights that really get to me. I miss him being in my bed. BUT, I won't feel sorry for myself. It's going to be a really long year if I do...
Lord, please keep my husband and his unit safe and out of harms way <3
~Peace and love~
Well, what's new today? I still didn't hear from my Soldier...but I'm sure he's doing well. I'm sure they're training hard and getting ready for whatever is to come.
Today, my amazing little boy decided to color all over the walls. So, I did what my grandmother did to me. I got him a sponge and made him clean it off. LOL...he's not even two yet so I thought for sure he'd get bored of it before it was cleaned. Nope...he cleaned the wall spotless. Good boy, Noah ;) Don't color on the walls again! =)
As far as me...the days don't bother me, too much. It's the nights that really get to me. I miss him being in my bed. BUT, I won't feel sorry for myself. It's going to be a really long year if I do...
Lord, please keep my husband and his unit safe and out of harms way <3
~Peace and love~
Saturday, September 11, 2010
An Army Wife's Prayer
The Army Wife Prayer
"Dear Lord,
Give me the greatness of heart to see the difference between duty and his love for me. Give me understanding that I may know, when duty calls him he must go. Give me a task to do each day, to fill the time when he's away. And Lord, when he's in a foreign land, keep him safe in your loving hand. And Lord, when duty is in the field, please protect him and be his shield. And Lord, when deployment is so long, please stay with me and keep me strong. Amen."
Author: anonymous
This image is not mine - I do not claim copyright to it.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Day 3.
I'm being called "crazy" - but, documenting each day of deployment is important to me. So, I'll continue to do it and I hope you'll continue to read.
Today is September 10th, 2010. The eve of the worst terror attack on American soil. How were we to know that, in the morning of September 11, 2001, the face of America would change?
Tonight, I got to talk to Adam. They're still traveling to their destination. It was the 1st time I've been able to talk to him since he left. I was on cloud nine for a few hours. Now, I'm back to missing him. But, it's ok. I'm fully trusting that God will keep him safe.
I'm pretty thankful I have this new TV in my room. It really makes my nights go a little faster. I can get in bed, do some homework, and then watch some TV...it was a smart move.
I'm sorry, I don't know what else to write tonight. I'm still on an emotional roller coaster and I cry on the drop of a dime (when Noah's not looking). But that will pass...I'll find a routine...before I know it, he'll be home.
Lord, please keep my husband and his unit safe and out of harms way.
Today is September 10th, 2010. The eve of the worst terror attack on American soil. How were we to know that, in the morning of September 11, 2001, the face of America would change?
Tonight, I got to talk to Adam. They're still traveling to their destination. It was the 1st time I've been able to talk to him since he left. I was on cloud nine for a few hours. Now, I'm back to missing him. But, it's ok. I'm fully trusting that God will keep him safe.
I'm pretty thankful I have this new TV in my room. It really makes my nights go a little faster. I can get in bed, do some homework, and then watch some TV...it was a smart move.
I'm sorry, I don't know what else to write tonight. I'm still on an emotional roller coaster and I cry on the drop of a dime (when Noah's not looking). But that will pass...I'll find a routine...before I know it, he'll be home.
Lord, please keep my husband and his unit safe and out of harms way.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Day 2...
Last night was a rough, sleepless night for me. I was pleased, however, to wake up and see that my husband was able to post a picture stating he had safely landed in Ireland (so cute, he wrote it on a piece of paper and took a picture). Now if I could find out if they've safely made it to Afghanistan. I just want some kind of communication - text message, IM, phone call, I don't care. Something. I miss him terribly already...but oddly enough, having just done 6 months of MP schooling where I didn't hear from him for weeks, I feel like I'm coping with this pretty well (as well as expected with this being "my first deployment").
This morning, I was walking out of the bathroom and Noah was holding a picture of his "Dada" (I put pictures in a water-proof, flexible frame so he could carry it with him wherever, and they are magnetic). Noah remembered blowing kisses to Dada and saying bye to him yesterday. Well, my baby boy was doing that to Dada's picture today and it threw a wirlwind of emotions through me...
Everyone tells me "You have to be strong for Noah". Agreed, and I am strong for him because I know he's going through this, too. BUT, that little not-even-two-year-old has no idea how lucky I AM to have him. I need him just as much as he needs me, if not more. He fills my long days, he warms my heart, and I love him. He also reminds me that it's ok to miss "Dada" and shed some tears but that I must be strong and trust that God will protect him - after all...all of our lives are in God's hands.
Today started my "365 days of deployment" album. I'm taking at least one picture a day of Noah and by the time Adam comes home, he'll have the actual picture I sent him down range...but he'll have an album of everyday that "Dada" was gone.
That's all for tonight.
Lord, please keep my husband safe.
This morning, I was walking out of the bathroom and Noah was holding a picture of his "Dada" (I put pictures in a water-proof, flexible frame so he could carry it with him wherever, and they are magnetic). Noah remembered blowing kisses to Dada and saying bye to him yesterday. Well, my baby boy was doing that to Dada's picture today and it threw a wirlwind of emotions through me...
Everyone tells me "You have to be strong for Noah". Agreed, and I am strong for him because I know he's going through this, too. BUT, that little not-even-two-year-old has no idea how lucky I AM to have him. I need him just as much as he needs me, if not more. He fills my long days, he warms my heart, and I love him. He also reminds me that it's ok to miss "Dada" and shed some tears but that I must be strong and trust that God will protect him - after all...all of our lives are in God's hands.
Today started my "365 days of deployment" album. I'm taking at least one picture a day of Noah and by the time Adam comes home, he'll have the actual picture I sent him down range...but he'll have an album of everyday that "Dada" was gone.
That's all for tonight.
Lord, please keep my husband safe.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Day 1 of Deployment
Today at 6pm began our 1st day of deployment hell. We went to the company at 1pm...and waited in extreme anxiety until 6pm where Noah and I watched the love of our life go off to Afghanistan. Noah was very tired and expressed that very well...but, it's ok. He gave Daddy a kiss and then we came home (after the bus left for the air field). I'm emotionally drained and I'm exhausted, that's all I have for tonight.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Savoring These Moments...
I haven't updated in a while. My husband, my son, and I have been spending precious moments together. These past two weeks have been our block leave. We've been busy visiting family and then we were able to spend the last week together. These days, I'll hang onto until he's home. I'm going to miss him tremendously...but, in "not to exceed 365 days" I will see him again.
Obviously, I'm spending as much time with him as I can right now. After "D" day, I'll be updating every day and I hope you'll be reading. I'm expecting it to be quite the roller coaster ride.
Until "D" day happens, I leave you with a poem that I read on the internet tonight (author unknown).
Obviously, I'm spending as much time with him as I can right now. After "D" day, I'll be updating every day and I hope you'll be reading. I'm expecting it to be quite the roller coaster ride.
Until "D" day happens, I leave you with a poem that I read on the internet tonight (author unknown).
She packs. She moves. She follows.
Why? What for? How come?
You may think she has lost her mind.
But actually,
she's lost her heart.
It was stolen from her by a man.
A man who puts duty first,
who longs to deploy,
who salutes the flag,
and whose boots in the doorway remind her that
as long as he is her Military Husband,
she will remain his Military Wife.
Why? What for? How come?
You may think she has lost her mind.
But actually,
she's lost her heart.
It was stolen from her by a man.
A man who puts duty first,
who longs to deploy,
who salutes the flag,
and whose boots in the doorway remind her that
as long as he is her Military Husband,
she will remain his Military Wife.
I love you, Adam. You're my heart, my hero, my Superman!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
My Soldier
I absolutely LOVE this song. This song makes me even more INCREDIBLY in love with my husband, my hero, my Soldier. Thank you to ALL of our men and women in uniform!
Toby Keith-American Soldier
I'm just trying to be a father,
Raise a daughter and a son,
Be a lover to their mother,Everything to everyone.
Up and at 'em bright and early,
I'm all in my business suit,
Yeah, I'm dressed for success from my head down to my boots,I don't do it for money, there's still bills that I can't pay,I don't do it for the glory, I just do it anyway,
Providing for our future's my responsibility,
Yeah I'm real good under pressure, being all that I can be,
And I can't call in sick on Mondays when the weekends been to strong,I just work straight through the holidays,
And sometimes all night long.
You can bet that I stand ready when the wolf growls at the door,
Hey, I'm solid, hey I'm steady, hey I'm true down to the core,And I will always do my duty, no matter what the price,
I've counted up the cost, I know the sacrifice,
Oh, and I don't want to die for you,
But if dyin's asked of me,
I'll bear that cross with an honor,'Cause freedom don't come free.
I'm an American soldier, an American,
Beside my brothers and my sisters I will proudly take a stand,
When liberty's in jeopardy I will always do what's right,I'm out here on the front lines, sleep in peace tonight.
American soldier, I'm an American,
An American,
An American Soldier
Raise a daughter and a son,
Be a lover to their mother,Everything to everyone.
Up and at 'em bright and early,
I'm all in my business suit,
Yeah, I'm dressed for success from my head down to my boots,I don't do it for money, there's still bills that I can't pay,I don't do it for the glory, I just do it anyway,
Providing for our future's my responsibility,
Yeah I'm real good under pressure, being all that I can be,
And I can't call in sick on Mondays when the weekends been to strong,I just work straight through the holidays,
And sometimes all night long.
You can bet that I stand ready when the wolf growls at the door,
Hey, I'm solid, hey I'm steady, hey I'm true down to the core,And I will always do my duty, no matter what the price,
I've counted up the cost, I know the sacrifice,
Oh, and I don't want to die for you,
But if dyin's asked of me,
I'll bear that cross with an honor,'Cause freedom don't come free.
I'm an American soldier, an American,
Beside my brothers and my sisters I will proudly take a stand,
When liberty's in jeopardy I will always do what's right,I'm out here on the front lines, sleep in peace tonight.
American soldier, I'm an American,
An American,
An American Soldier
I love you, Adam! Thank you for all you do...
Sunday, August 15, 2010
If You Don't Stand for Something...
September 11th, 2001, two jets were hijacked and the face of America changed forever. The World Trade Centers were destroyed and 3,000 Americans were killed that day.
What's your opinion on the article above? Read it carefully...and let me know.
We are and always will be the land of the FREE (because of the brave!) Remember that when reading. I have my opinions...and I'll share them at a later time. But I'd like to see what others have to say before I comment!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
To Put it All Into Perspective...
I read a blog post today...from a nurse. It was very touching and it put a lot of things into perspective for me. She wrote,
"I was talking with one of my patients today and found out a bit of his life story.
He was a pilot in the Army Air Corps during WWII. He was married (married his wife in 1942 shortly before he deployed). He was shot down in Germany and spent 2 years in a work camp.
And you know what? He talks about how lucky he was.
It just puts it into perspective when we sit here and complain because we haven't talked to our husbands today. He spent 2 years in a German work camp as a POW. 2 years that his wife didn't hear from him or even know if he was alive. And he calls that lucky."
And you know what? He talks about how lucky he was.
It just puts it into perspective when we sit here and complain because we haven't talked to our husbands today. He spent 2 years in a German work camp as a POW. 2 years that his wife didn't hear from him or even know if he was alive. And he calls that lucky."
Again I go with a saying that a very wise person told me "If you threw all of your problems into a pile with everyone else's problems...you'd grab yours back in a hurry".
Be thankful for what you have and who you have! I know I am...
Friday, August 13, 2010
What NOT To Say...
I received this email and thought I'd share. SO STINKIN' TRUE. Think about it next time you talk to someone who's spouse is deployed to a combat zone...
1. “Aren’t you afraid that he’ll be killed?”
(This one ranks in at number one on the “duh” list. Of course we’re afraid. We’re terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds —but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they’re scared of dying.)
2. “I don’t know how you manage. I don’t think I could do it.”
(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here’s why: it’s not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we’d get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We’re not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)
3. “At least he’s not in Iraq.”
(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan. What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An international game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there.)
4. “Do you think he’ll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?”
(Don’t you watch the news? No! They don’t get to come home for any of these things. Please don’t ask again.)
5. “What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he’s gone?”
(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there’s a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don’t get bored, and drinking massive amounts of wine always helps keep me busy.)
6. “How much longer does he have until he can get out?”
(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren’t counting down the days until they “can” get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq b/c there is work that needs to be done.)
7. “This deployment shouldn’t be so bad, now that you’re used to it.”
(Sure, we do learn coping skills and its true the more deployments you’ve gone through, the easier dealing with it becomes. And we figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets “easy” and the bullets and bombs don’t skip over our guys just because they’ve been there before. The worry never goes away.)
8. “My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you’re going through.”
(This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband’s three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 12-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a shitty ford taurus with mercedes convertible.)
9. “Wow you must miss him?”
(This one also gets antoher big “duh”. Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they’re now divorced.)
10. “Where is he exactly? Where is that?”
(I don’t expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a map, but they should know by now that it’s in Iraq. Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they’re on the news every night and in the papers every day —and on maps everywhere.)
11. “Well, he signed up for it, so it’s his own fault whatever happens over there.
(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn’t sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that “You’re welcome.” He’s still fighting for your freedom.)
12. “Don’t you miss sex! I couldn’t do it!”
(hmmm, no i don’t miss sex. i’m a robot. seriously…military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn’t withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)
13. “Well in my opinion…..”
(Stop right there. Yo, I didn’t ask for you your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Jamba Juice, not at Nordstrom, not in a restaurant when I’m out with my girls trying to forget the war, and CERTAINLY NOT AT WORK. We tell co-workers about deployments so when we have to spend lunch hours running our asses off doing errands and taking care of the house, dog, and kids, they have an understanding. We do not tell co-workers and colleagues because we are giving an invitation to ramble about politics or because we so eagerly want to hear how much they hate the President, esp. while we’re trying to heat up our lean cuisines in the crappy office microwaves.)
last but not least….
14. “OH, that’s horrible…I’m so sorry!”
(He’s doing his job and he’s tough. Don’t be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our soldiers fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)
If you want to say anything, say thank you. After all, we are sexually deprived for your freedom.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
A Student Again!
Well, school starts in ONE week and FOUR days! I'm ridiculously excited that I'm going to be a student again. When Adam joined the Army it was agreed upon that I'd go back to school to finish my Criminal Justice degree and to enroll into the nursing program once there was a spot available (I'm already 40 credits toward my CJ degree, so I may as well finish that degree while I am waiting to get into nursing). God has a plan for everything. I'm convinced that the timing was perfect (obviously...it's God's plan and timing is always perfect). With DH deploying on such short notice, school will help make the next 365 days go by very fast (or at least I'm praying...).
To be honest...I know I want my Criminal Justice degree so I have something to fall back on in case I cannot get into the nursing program right away. But my real ambition is to get my nursing degree and to work in Labor and Delivery. How awesome it will be to help bring tiny precious babies into the world. I'd also like to work in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) as a nurse. It's going to take a while to get into the nursing program here at JCC (Jefferson Community College). Fall of 2012 is the estimated semester that I'll be able to get in. So, while I'm waiting a year to do that...maybe I can get a job with my Criminal Justice degree.
While I find Criminal Justice very VERY interesting, the reason I won't be taking Criminal Justice any further (other than to get a job in a court house or something along those lines) is because I'm not willing to leave my young son for long enough to attend the police academy. I give so many kudos to my husband for being able to go training for 5 months just so that he can provide for his family. We Love You, Adam! Also, once he's out of the Army, he'll be going to a police academy which will require him to be gone for about 3 months. He's so strong...I'm so SO proud of him! He can go to his training and "do his duty" in the sandbox because he knows that his baby is in safe/protective/caring/loving arms.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Have Faith...
Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
I do not claim rights to this photograph.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Rule #1...
I was beyond excited when we got stationed here at Fort Drum, NY. Close to family and friends, perfect climate for me...but most of all, I was THRILLED with the unit Adam got put into. They just returned from deployment so that meant no deployment for a little while and we met some awesome people.
Soon, I found out "Rule #1". Never rely on the Army...
Adam was "voluntold" that he'd be joining a new unit and they are headed for Afghanistan. He found out on my birthday, July 26th. He'll be leaving very, very soon for his 1st tour overseas and my first "tour at home".
So many emotions I have right now. So many wishes I have. But not one regret. I'm proud of my husband and what he's doing. He's going to do his duty and then he's going to come home to us...and that's that. Am I nervous? Am I scared? Do I wish he didn't have to go? yes, Yes, and YES! But I don't hold it against him. He's fighting to make me and our son safer in this country.
I love you, Adam. You're going to do wonderful. You're not even gone yet and I can't wait for you to come back home.
Friday, May 21, 2010
The move...
It's been a while since I've updated this. I'm going to be updating my blog more frequently now. This is a time in my life that I want to document...because the Army "experience" is something that's now a huge part of our life.
Adam graduated Military Police school at Fort Leonard Wood, MO on April 22, 2010. I've never seen a more proud Adam. That's for sure! He's incredibly handsome in uniform, too ;) (but...I move away from that one).
We received orders for Fort Drum, NY. That's where we are now. I'm going to post more soon...but I just wanted to give everyone an update.
Blessings.
Adam graduated Military Police school at Fort Leonard Wood, MO on April 22, 2010. I've never seen a more proud Adam. That's for sure! He's incredibly handsome in uniform, too ;) (but...I move away from that one).
We received orders for Fort Drum, NY. That's where we are now. I'm going to post more soon...but I just wanted to give everyone an update.
Blessings.
Monday, January 18, 2010
The News...
Suddenly, the news has become my worst enemy. My husband is currently at Fort Leonard Wood, MO for OSUT (One Station Unit Training) to become 31B – Military Police. Their motto…”The First In – The Last To Leave”. FYI – I hate that motto. *insert angry face here*
I hate watching the news because it just reminds me that my husband, at some point during his career, is going to be in harms way. The news never reports the troops coming home, or a town out troops have secured, or the joys of a country who really does want the US there (and they do…). They just report on death and destruction…and never homecoming – just leaving.
From now on it’s Nick Jr. for Noah and Army Wives on Sundays at 10pm for me!
UGH!
Monday, January 11, 2010
The Wife
Author Unknown - (I thought this was a beautiful poem...pretty much sums up the feelings of an Army Wife)
Another sleepless night for me
Alone upon our bed
I see again his every move
And those last words he said.
So proud he looked in uniform
Convinced that he was right
He had to go, for duty called
There was a war to fight.
Those last few days before he left
I hid the pain inside
We talked and loved and even joked
He never knew I cried.
And when the dreaded moment came
He kissed me tenderly.
His eyes met mine, and then he said,
"I'll be all right, you'll see."
I tried to smile and nod my head
Afraid to let him see
The terror that I feared if he
Did not come back to me.
I see him as he walked away
I tried to say 'good-bye'
But words were trapped within my throat
All I could do was cry.
The weeks have stretched now into months
And every night I pray
That God will keep him in his care
And bring him home one day.
At last I drift off into sleep
In dreams I see him more
I turn around and smile to hear
His footsteps at the door.
Restless I sleep, and then I wake
Not opening my eyes
I move my hand to reach for him
But no one near me lies.
I will not give in to despair
With each new day I'll cope
For I know he would want me to
Be brave and live with hope.
I hear the voices loud and strong
Who criticize the war
While yelling men are fools to go
They stay on freedoms shore.
A man who cowers under fear
Will die a thousand deaths
While men like mine for freedom fight
And offer their last breaths.
I hope perhaps in fifty years
When men remember war
They won't forget the wives who dreamed
Of footsteps at the door.
Another sleepless night for me
Alone upon our bed
I see again his every move
And those last words he said.
So proud he looked in uniform
Convinced that he was right
He had to go, for duty called
There was a war to fight.
Those last few days before he left
I hid the pain inside
We talked and loved and even joked
He never knew I cried.
And when the dreaded moment came
He kissed me tenderly.
His eyes met mine, and then he said,
"I'll be all right, you'll see."
I tried to smile and nod my head
Afraid to let him see
The terror that I feared if he
Did not come back to me.
I see him as he walked away
I tried to say 'good-bye'
But words were trapped within my throat
All I could do was cry.
The weeks have stretched now into months
And every night I pray
That God will keep him in his care
And bring him home one day.
At last I drift off into sleep
In dreams I see him more
I turn around and smile to hear
His footsteps at the door.
Restless I sleep, and then I wake
Not opening my eyes
I move my hand to reach for him
But no one near me lies.
I will not give in to despair
With each new day I'll cope
For I know he would want me to
Be brave and live with hope.
I hear the voices loud and strong
Who criticize the war
While yelling men are fools to go
They stay on freedoms shore.
A man who cowers under fear
Will die a thousand deaths
While men like mine for freedom fight
And offer their last breaths.
I hope perhaps in fifty years
When men remember war
They won't forget the wives who dreamed
Of footsteps at the door.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Afghanistan - a new from an Army Wife
So I’m a wife…an Army wife. Day to day it’s proving to be more difficult everyday. Having your husband gone with little contact is quite the challenge especially with a one year old running around day and night. Currently, my husband is training to be a military police officer and Fort Leonard Wood, MO (Fort Lost in the Woods, Misery) has him until April. Right now, I only have to worry about him enduring bully drill sergeants and exhaustion. But he’s safe. I count my blessings everyday that my husband is safe.
President Obama’s words on December 1st affected no one like they affected those who will be sending their loved ones off (or the possibility of sending their loved ones off). My heart goes out to you all. My husband finishes training April of 2010. President Obama has stated that most of the 30,000 troops will deploy early next year “moving at the fastest pace possible”. I pray every night he’ll get lucky enough and miss the deployment until later in his career. Selfishly, I want my husband to myself for a while. 5 months of training and then moving to our duty station (which could be anywhere in the world)…I just want him to be home for a while.
“Early 2010” could mean March…April…May. Don’t get my wrong. Deployment is the reason our troops train like they do. It’s the reason they form such close bonds with each other. It’s what WE signed up for. I know it will come; I just need some time before that happens.
With that said…I truly support President Obama’s decision to send an additional 30,000 troops to Afghanistan (which FYI…I don’t think I can listen to another “he said he was pulling all of our troops out and now look at what he’s doing!”…What our President said was he wanted to get our troops withdrawn from Iraq but “Afghanistan is a war of necessity”). If I didn’t support the troop surge…what would I be supporting? Just think about this…there are men and woman over there who are being killed simply because they don’t have the man power or gun power to help defend themselves. Most of all…what I do support are my husband’s comrades. My husbands (and mine for that matter) newly found family. Those men and women are over there in the sandbox without the defenses they need. Those men and women who would gladly stand at my husbands back and defend him NEED the same from their comrades here at home. Our country needs to pull together for THEM if no one else.
I feel for the spouses “left behind”. Maybe with more man/gun power over there…there will be a more speedy result in Afghanistan but more importantly our loves ones (ALL OF THEM) will return to us safely.
God Bless all of our troops and those who support them. All of those “left behind” waiting…worrying…supporting your soldiers, God Bless you and you’re not alone.
With love,
Amanda
President Obama’s words on December 1st affected no one like they affected those who will be sending their loved ones off (or the possibility of sending their loved ones off). My heart goes out to you all. My husband finishes training April of 2010. President Obama has stated that most of the 30,000 troops will deploy early next year “moving at the fastest pace possible”. I pray every night he’ll get lucky enough and miss the deployment until later in his career. Selfishly, I want my husband to myself for a while. 5 months of training and then moving to our duty station (which could be anywhere in the world)…I just want him to be home for a while.
“Early 2010” could mean March…April…May. Don’t get my wrong. Deployment is the reason our troops train like they do. It’s the reason they form such close bonds with each other. It’s what WE signed up for. I know it will come; I just need some time before that happens.
With that said…I truly support President Obama’s decision to send an additional 30,000 troops to Afghanistan (which FYI…I don’t think I can listen to another “he said he was pulling all of our troops out and now look at what he’s doing!”…What our President said was he wanted to get our troops withdrawn from Iraq but “Afghanistan is a war of necessity”). If I didn’t support the troop surge…what would I be supporting? Just think about this…there are men and woman over there who are being killed simply because they don’t have the man power or gun power to help defend themselves. Most of all…what I do support are my husband’s comrades. My husbands (and mine for that matter) newly found family. Those men and women are over there in the sandbox without the defenses they need. Those men and women who would gladly stand at my husbands back and defend him NEED the same from their comrades here at home. Our country needs to pull together for THEM if no one else.
I feel for the spouses “left behind”. Maybe with more man/gun power over there…there will be a more speedy result in Afghanistan but more importantly our loves ones (ALL OF THEM) will return to us safely.
God Bless all of our troops and those who support them. All of those “left behind” waiting…worrying…supporting your soldiers, God Bless you and you’re not alone.
With love,
Amanda
Sunday, December 20, 2009
The Silent Ranks...
Unknown Author
I wear no uniforms, no blues or army greens.
But I am in the military in the ranks rarely seen.
I have no rank upon my shoulders, salutes I do not give.
But the military world is the place where I live.
I'm not in the chain of command, orders I do not get.
But my husband is the one who does, this I cannot forget.
I'm not the one who fires the weapon, who puts my life on the line.
But my job is just as tough. I'm the one that's left behind.
My husband is a patriot, a brave and prideful man,
And the call to serve his country, not all can understand.
Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free.
My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do our kids and me.
I love the man I married. Patriotism is his life.
But I stand among the silent ranks known as the military wife.
I wear no uniforms, no blues or army greens.
But I am in the military in the ranks rarely seen.
I have no rank upon my shoulders, salutes I do not give.
But the military world is the place where I live.
I'm not in the chain of command, orders I do not get.
But my husband is the one who does, this I cannot forget.
I'm not the one who fires the weapon, who puts my life on the line.
But my job is just as tough. I'm the one that's left behind.
My husband is a patriot, a brave and prideful man,
And the call to serve his country, not all can understand.
Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free.
My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do our kids and me.
I love the man I married. Patriotism is his life.
But I stand among the silent ranks known as the military wife.
Monday, December 14, 2009
OSUT (One Station Unit Training)
The first stop…the first true test. Not just a test for him, but a test for me as well.
Lets look back approximately a month ago, shall we? I’m standing in the official “Swearing In” room at the MEPS center. Seeing my husband swear in was kind of…a mix of emotions, I suppose. Bitter sweet, some may say. Proud that I’m married to a man who wants to be part of the “bigger picture” and frustrated/saddened that the Army now “owns” him and for the next 5 years, WE do as they say…and (as for those of you who know me…) I start balling once I hug him.
Then, I load myself, my son, & and my aunt into the car – we drive to the airport. I know what’s waiting for me there…more tears. Expecting to get some special time with my husband before he boards, he comes into the airport from the shuttle bus – lead of his group. He has to coordinate 6 other people to get to the gate and board on time without flaw (I call it his first true test J). He was doing wonderfully until “miss little truck driver” decided she wanted nothing to do with getting orders from someone who was a “her”. She took off and just met everyone at the gate (upon arrival at the Saint Louis airport, she decided she wanted more time to eat her lunch…so got smoked by the drill instructor, big time).
Well, everyone arrived at the gate & boarded. No time for “special time”. We watched his plane leave and that was it.
I must say, that was the hardest week for me. I was in a serious slump. But, here I am…at the one month mark and I’m doing just great. I’m anxiously awaiting his arrival home for Christmas – he’ll be home for 2 weeks and then he goes back. But what an extremely special Christmas that will be! I don’t need a gift…mine will be walking off the plane in ACU’s J.
Our plans for 2 weeks? Spending special time together…drinking a little too much (while our little guy is with a sitter, of course!)…see a movie, eat awesome holiday food,…relax, and share the beautiful Christmas season together. Also, on December 17th, our beautiful baby boy, Noah, will turn ONE! How exciting that Daddy will be home to celebrate his birthday!!!
We’ve come a long way to get to this step in Adam’s career and essentially, his dream. He’s finally there…I’m so proud of him!
As for me…this newly labeled “Army Wife”, I’ve never been more happy and proudJ. I plan to take every experience and learn from those experiences. I know there is much…much…much for me to learn along the way. In what ways can I best support my husband/soldier? How can I comfort him when he needs it? How can I give him encouragement when he needs it? And how can I be the best wife and mom possible? With all these questions, I keep coming back to the same answers…
Love and Faith. Prayer…
God Bless & thanks for reading –
Amanda
Lets look back approximately a month ago, shall we? I’m standing in the official “Swearing In” room at the MEPS center. Seeing my husband swear in was kind of…a mix of emotions, I suppose. Bitter sweet, some may say. Proud that I’m married to a man who wants to be part of the “bigger picture” and frustrated/saddened that the Army now “owns” him and for the next 5 years, WE do as they say…and (as for those of you who know me…) I start balling once I hug him.
Then, I load myself, my son, & and my aunt into the car – we drive to the airport. I know what’s waiting for me there…more tears. Expecting to get some special time with my husband before he boards, he comes into the airport from the shuttle bus – lead of his group. He has to coordinate 6 other people to get to the gate and board on time without flaw (I call it his first true test J). He was doing wonderfully until “miss little truck driver” decided she wanted nothing to do with getting orders from someone who was a “her”. She took off and just met everyone at the gate (upon arrival at the Saint Louis airport, she decided she wanted more time to eat her lunch…so got smoked by the drill instructor, big time).
Well, everyone arrived at the gate & boarded. No time for “special time”. We watched his plane leave and that was it.
I must say, that was the hardest week for me. I was in a serious slump. But, here I am…at the one month mark and I’m doing just great. I’m anxiously awaiting his arrival home for Christmas – he’ll be home for 2 weeks and then he goes back. But what an extremely special Christmas that will be! I don’t need a gift…mine will be walking off the plane in ACU’s J.
Our plans for 2 weeks? Spending special time together…drinking a little too much (while our little guy is with a sitter, of course!)…see a movie, eat awesome holiday food,…relax, and share the beautiful Christmas season together. Also, on December 17th, our beautiful baby boy, Noah, will turn ONE! How exciting that Daddy will be home to celebrate his birthday!!!
We’ve come a long way to get to this step in Adam’s career and essentially, his dream. He’s finally there…I’m so proud of him!
As for me…this newly labeled “Army Wife”, I’ve never been more happy and proudJ. I plan to take every experience and learn from those experiences. I know there is much…much…much for me to learn along the way. In what ways can I best support my husband/soldier? How can I comfort him when he needs it? How can I give him encouragement when he needs it? And how can I be the best wife and mom possible? With all these questions, I keep coming back to the same answers…
Love and Faith. Prayer…
God Bless & thanks for reading –
Amanda
Introduction to our journey!
I’m really excited to share my journey with you. I’m a 23 year old mom and Army Wife. Our Army journey began very recently ago (November 18, 2009). My husband is currently at training for 31B – Military Police in Fort Leonard Wood, MO. He will be there until April 2010. My husband is my hero and my best friend. He’s living his dream and I am, as well. I never thought at 23 years old I’d be happily married with a beautiful 1 year old boy who keeps me on my toes every waking hour!
Professional plan of mine?...School is in the horizon as soon as we get to our first duty station. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up ;). Right now…my main focus is being the best mother and wife I can be.
I hope you’ll follow me on my journey as I document the joys, trails, frustrations, and whatever else may come from being an Army wife and mother.
God Bless,
Amanda -
Professional plan of mine?...School is in the horizon as soon as we get to our first duty station. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up ;). Right now…my main focus is being the best mother and wife I can be.
I hope you’ll follow me on my journey as I document the joys, trails, frustrations, and whatever else may come from being an Army wife and mother.
God Bless,
Amanda -
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